To Change is An Option


The Salt Water Fish

This struck my head: “be like a fish in the sea!”

What’s that supposed to mean? It’s not easy to chew the essence of that phrase. And it was elaborated this way. A fish in the sea will not turn as salty as the sea water. Ah, just another words of good saying [I don’t want to say wisdom].

I kind of like the idea of not changing but I also embrace the notion that the only constant thing is change itself. I think I really have to digest what this phrase really means. People change, everything changes the universe also goes through changes all the time, but not the soul. It only evolves but it doesn’t change. It goes from one lesson learned to another. This is what we really are. So, no matter where we are, we only be ourselves, not what the surroundings tell us to be or to become. People have no control over us. It is us who decide as to whether we want to change or we want to stay the same.

There are million ways that our environment in where we live changes us; the people, the culture, the lifestyle, the norms their belief, the ideas and kindness.

But this is not easy. Sometimes and most of the times we get too carried away by the people around us, by the situation that we encounter everyday. To be like a salt water fish means to carry with us, our true identity as a person: what we really see inside us or how we perceive about ourselves. To change is actually easy, the fear and to accept the fact that everyday we change, is not. To be not affected, influenced or changed by our surroundings, we have to safeguard ourselves. We have to reconcile with ourselves, to understand, to accept and to appreciate what we have and what we have not. These are the elements that make us; feel them and embrace them because they are us–they shape us and make us imperfect yet complete human being.

Some people change, some people don’t. To change is optional.

Both groups of people amaze me, always. To see those who change gets me thinking and respect them on their willingness to open themselves to changes and they go with them all the time; their life is so dynamic and so rich of diversity of experiences and stories. On the other hand, those who don’t change, they build up the real characters of themselves as they have been going through the process of sharpening their I-ness, which is their constant identity that will be known over times. Now we can see that to change or not to change is actually a twin-path that we can choose either one. Choose what makes you feel the most comfortable. Consider which one really reflects our real selves and do best in the process. When you decide to change, learn all the lessons that are given throughout the process of changing. When you decide not to change, make sure that you have found and feel confident about what you are and sharpen the characters that build yourself.

Well, there is always a gray area: to change and not to change at the same time. You keep the positives and you can change the negatives; this takes courage and ability to differentiate both and how to maintain and balance both to progress together.

The Gemologist

Literally since everyone was born, we all are starting our lives like a blank paper; possibly unattractive, boring, hollow and simply not remarkable.

It’s of stone and gem.

It was our parents who shaped us and educated us, guided us to the path they wanted us to be during our childhood. Your family, your friends and neighborhood also contributed very important part in making us. Like a stone. We look uninteresting yet, we are still useful: to build houses or to build roads, we still have values for others. We can always be like a stone all of our lives, it’s our decision and our choice what we want to become. We own our soul and our life. Apparently we had nothing but as time went by, people, experiences, places, knowledge and information gave us something and we carry them throughout. Then we became something, more than just a stone. We are in the process of metamorphosis: a journey from a stone to a gem.

But the transformation wouldn’t happen if we don’t take control. If we don’t furnish, polish and sharpen everything we have to make us look more attractive, to make us more complete. We are the gemologist for ourselves.

“I don’t think that I am like neither of my parents” I thought, “a little probably but not even close.”

Here is the point: there are two kinds of parents [to my own opinion], first is that kind of parents who want their children to be what they want the children to become and second is that kind of parents who want their children to realize the parents’ past failures or regrets of what they couldn’t become. However, there is another kind of parents too; they want their children to be whichever they children want to become and they will support the children, no matter what. Perhaps, there is still another kind, but I just can’t think of any and besides let’s make it simple.

I think my parents are the combination of the three. Sometimes, they wanted me to be someone they wanted me to be. Sometimes, they wanted me to be what they couldn’t become. I think they are now tired to convince me because I always follow my heart, I do listen to them but yes, I just don’t really listen. So, now they have given up I suppose. I have found my own way and I lead the journey and I find my own path. They’d say, “whichever!” And thankfully, I am in the right path of journey that I have been leading. I have always been following what my heart says whether good or bad. Because in the end I know that I will always have and get something to learn from and to be proud of.

I am the gemologist for myself.

taken and edited from mohammadreiza.com dated December, 2010

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