The Chance

About seven months ago I wrote “Second Chance”, in which I also wrote that actually everyone of us has more than one or even two chances in life.  Let me call this a lifelong chance. When we fail and fall, we stand up again and rise and get stronger from our wounds.

Everyone stands a lot of chances to do so many things. When one door shuts, another door opens. When one window is closed another one will be opened for us. Again and again every now and then. Thus, we shall never feel afraid of losing chances, of losing hopes and strength. To go with changes is the greatest experience I ever gain in life. The miracle of seeing the beauty of many little (and big things) in life, is really indescribable. It feels like we’re flying with time and through times. And at the end of the day, little did we realize that we have gone through so many days, so many lives, we met so many people, so many characters, we visited so many places and saw so many buildings and cultures.

Few years back, I used to have this big fear of failing in life. And now after going through almost three good years, that feeling slowly disappears. And now I think that this is time for me to change. This is time for me to have another life. I am so grateful that I met so many great and inspiring people throughout the journey, people that have maintained and lived so many lives in their journeys. People that have changed and become someone else within themselves time after time. And they don’t seem to bother. They don’t seem to be regretful. In the contrary. They have so many stories to tell. They have so may stories to share. They have then become the great storytellers. And I want to be like them one day. Open up my shutting door and share my life and myself with the world, with other people. For the sake of getting connected to as many people as long as I live, to live my life to the fullest.

I more strongly believe that God creates the world not for nothing, not for everyone to shut their doors and just live their simple life. After all, the way our body works is never that simple. Let’s get tangled in life and experience more. We go with changes and do more things that we never thought we would and could do, but still within the corridors of our personal belief, personal faith, personal ethics and personal morale.

Sometimes, we can be smart and we can also be stupid. Smart-ness and stupid-ness are part of ourselves, so be it. Don’t waste our time being somebody we are not, life is simply too short for that. If you want to be smart, be it. If you want to be stupid, just be it. If you want to be simple, you can. If you want to be complicated, you can. The choice of being is fully ours. Don’t listen to what others say. Listen to your inner-heart and inner-voice.

Me, myself five years ago are totally different set of characters and personality from me and myself now. I have changed so much in the last years, although some people think I’m still the same person. I don’t change. I lost hope, I lost shelter and I was jobless for a little while until I saw chances and grabbed them. And the last two years or so, I hoped that I have really helped some people find their chances and excelled. I don’t hope for something in return. I don’t expect to get praises or personal credits. Sometime some people just have to understand and remember where they were, where we were or where I was.

To the hands of God I gave my life. On the miracles of God I rely my destiny. And with my shattered faith, I start all over again. I put myself together and I work on many things from zero. Sometimes life puts us to the point where we lose everything we have, as if that what we had in the past doesn’t really matter anymore–they lose their values. At some point, everything we have is taken instantly just like when it was given in the first place. But to start thing all over is really what we are so capable of, so why afraid?

Forty days left before I’m going on 28, the end of my having all the time in the world to fix my life for the second time with the second chance. But as I’m writing this monologue much do I realize that such thing doesn’t exist in my life dictionary anymore. Because I know, when I make mistakes again in the future, I can always fix them and move on. So can everyone of us. We’re born to get tangled in life, in so many lives. To make so many mistakes, learn and fix them and continue the journey of life.

Life is such a great journey of self search. One’s self search to be a whole being; yet we don’t have to be perfect and to be complete. The imperfectness and the incompleteness are the things that make us humane, that make us different from anyone because we are what we are. We are what we are doing again and again. And we deserve different and many chances in life to always better ourselves.

Second Chance

I don’t believe in those who say, “come on do it, you only have once chance!” The other way, we, everyone of us deserves and will always have a second chance, even a lot more chances for as long as we live and strive…

One day, after my mom died. I kept seeing her in my dreams, sleepless nights. In my dream I saw myself getting lost and trying to find a way out but I couldn’t find anything and there my mom appeared out of no where and told me, “Reiza, keep thinking and don’t give up. Think, and think and think until it hurts, you will find the way out…” That’s the thing that I remember very well.

So, for as long as we are willing and trying hard to change and to grab the opportunities and what’s out there, we will always have chances. This actually got me thinking that I always have notional thoughts that everyone has three chances in the early start-up life to be want we want to be. The turning point is when we are 25 years old, which I had passed and it led me to who I am today. And if we think that who and what we are today is not like what we want or expect or plan, we have the second chance to fix things up, to get ourselves back to the path we want to walk through–and this happens when we are 27 years old. This is the time for me! I am fixing up or, if not, improving and developing what I already am. Not only that, I am also seeking for ways to do my plan and to be who I am differently, by looking for opportunities.

For that second-phase life development, we have three years until we reach 30. If things happen differently, I always believe that the rest of our life will be filled with so many chances, chances to improvise and to be different person all the time, moving from one place to another and changing faces. But, apart from that, I believe the fourth chance is coming on the way and we need to carefully look for that and grab it, hold it dear and change. However, when we have reached 30 and we are what we want to be, go keep on track and improve, maintain, sustain what we are until we become the best for ourselves and for everyone else. I just remembered this after so many years that I have forgotten my personal values.

One day I feel upset by how many things that I have to remember and recall at the same time–all at once, I thought it was insane, madness! So, I prayed to God, “God, I know that I have limited capacity of memorizing stuff, I am not that brilliant, I am not a genius either and I come to You today to pray that you would always store all the memories of places I’ve ever visited, people I’ve ever met and connected with, good life values that I always embraced, great ideas that I’ve ever come up with in the very depth of my subconscious mind. And give me the ability to restore all of that at anytime when I really need it, without knowing that I ever had them and without working hard to do so; as the greatest gift for me. Amen.”

People always tell others not to look back and not to count the past. I personally think, this is wrong! As other people also say, experiences is the best advice. We look back to learn, and we go through the passage to the past. We learn what the past has taught us. We can use what we learned to live the present and build the future. What I recently got from learning about my past was that I regained my hidden talents in painting and I have done pretty well so far. I get a second chance to get into painting again and this has been amazing, it’s a great relief for me. And soon, I’d love to get back to play piano and violin, I don’t know how but I will have to consult my past again and believe that I am still given a second chance to do it once again.

Second chance comes only to those who believe. Second chance comes only to those who strive. Second chance comes only to those who are willing to seek. Chances are we succeed or we try again!

taken and edited from dated April-November 2011

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s