Love Diary


Saturday, March 4, 2006, 8.59 pm

Dear sweetheart,

It has been long time, exactly five days since you left for miles of distance. I feel lonely here. So empty. With no one to speak with. No body who understands me completely like you do. I wish this diary will be a book soon before I come to see you there in a distance. Korea. Seems so tempting and promising. I’ll try to be extra patient in the waiting time and room.

This should have been written since the first day you left but you know. It’s just hard for me to accept this reality. I do need sometimes to understand and adjust my emotional feelings. Well, in fact I know that I will be brave in facing the time being. It wont be long right? Four months, seems so short.

I though I’d be like the day I came back from Japan and four months later I met you at the airport and we spent most of our times together here in the next nine days, I guess. I wish it could be longer. Well, sure it will be longer later two weeks seems enough. It seems only. I wish it could be two months. Two years. Two decades or even two centuries and as long as we live.

Hope this love will be everlasting.

Nobody else but us. Just the two of us.

The world is ours. And I want us later to support each other. I don’t wanna change you and you don’t change me either. We love each other just the way we are in present time. As we will complete each other with our own differences.

More importantly, it’s good that you call me every time before you go to bed. It’s awesome and calming. I have never felt like this before. To be comfortable with myself and someone I really love from a distance. This is the art, I think. Even though now we are living separate lives, it makes our loves grow matured and bloom with its beauty.

I can’t stop saying the words, I love you.

Not only saying the words, but I do really love you and I can’t stop loving you. I love you and I will always love you and I always will. I miss your presence here. But through this time I can appreciate more the true meaning of your presence.

It’s good also to hear that you remember the past stories. Time after time usually people will forget what happened in the past. But you, you made me really overwhelmed with gratitude that what I did was worth it. I love you, sweetie. Or whatever you want me to call you. As I like every name you called me. All of them are music to my ears. They made me laugh, smile and feel so tremendously happy. Unbelievable. Indescribable. But above all, I love the way you call me, my name. Comforting.

Yes sweetie, you had me at hello.

You did have me from the first time we met three years ago. Two years and six months exactly. It was only five months to know you better before you left me for the first time. Before I have your love and your life right now. Before I have place in your heart.

When your heart was another’s. I gave all I thought I could give to you, sincerely. With the purity of love. Now, after all this time. I eventually have you here by my side. Yes. We will be separated for a while, but I will come and persist. So, all we can do now is wait for the time. The show time.

I just wanna be with you right now. To be with you is all that I need now. To be next to you without doing anything. In silence and feel your comfort. It is hard to live through the days and another thousand miles to get closer to you. I don’t want each of us become a bit selfish. No. but I know it’s hard for us right now.

But we can’t do anything by now but waiting for the time.

It seems my talking is going around in a circle. No destination. No end point.

It is because of you. I just wanna talk with you longer and longer like endless conversation. I can feel you think the same way too.

I love you. I love you. I love you…

You complete me, you complete my life.

And you give me strength to stand alone again. To live my life again, all by myself. Until the day to see you comes.

When we are apart like this I feel that there is another half of myself is missing somewhere. This part is you. You’re the puzzle of my heart. You definitely make my life full and filled. More meaningful than any other ordinary days. With you everything seems so amazing. Extraordinaire. I miss that. I miss you too, very much.

Wherever I am, whatever I do and whenever I always think about you. About us. About our future. How we can live together and where we will live together. As I told you, I am ready…I am ready. I know you are ready too. So, I can ask you at any given time and place. Let’s see how things work for us.

I write this at home as I can’t do this in internet café. But still you can fell that something needs to be uncovered in the writings. Yes. But don’t worry. Right after I have my own laptop, I will tell you everything freely. With all my heart. And we talk about us from heart to heart, sweetie.

I felt that my life had changed when you told me that you loved me that night. After two years waiting for your love. I eventually hear the magic words. Thank you. You do really complete my life. I felt that I was the happiest person in the world when I heard the words. Thank you. And I love you too with all my heart and all my life.

Well, you might read this as an electronic love letter and wish you could feel the wave of love and the magic power of love in it. As I poured all my love and my private emotion in every single word I typed.

I want to also share this song with you, the gift.

Winter snow is falling down
Children laughing all around
Lights are turning on
like a fairy tale come true.
Sitting by the fire we made
You’re the answer when i prayed
I would find someone
and baby I found you.

All I want is to hold you forever
All I need is you more every day
You saved my heart
from being broken apart
You gave your love away
and I’m thankful every day
for the gift.

Watching as you softly sleep
What I’d give if I could keep
Just this moment
if only time stood still.
But the colors fade away
And the years will make us grey
But baby in my eyes
You’ll still be beautiful.

All I want is to hold you forever
All I need is you more every day
You saved my heart
from being broken apart
You gave your love away
And I’m thankful every day
for the gift.

(instrumental)

All I want is to hold you forever
All I need is you more every day
You saved my heart
from being broken apart
You gave your love away
I can’t find the words to say
That I’m thankful every day
for the gift.

Loves, longings, kisses, hugs and warmth, always closer and forever yours. Sweetie pie.

Piece of My Heart

June 20, 2006, 7.30 pm.

My time right now is so hard and difficult. The circumstances I am living also gives me tough times to handle some problems one by one. I got to make priorities. Class projects, internship, eco-camp and the business research in Korea.

It might be natural if we feel we are far away from each other right now. At some points in life, we have to focus on what we are doing – our works – not on someone we love and we care for. But the ultimate purpose is for them, for us.

Sometimes also some people need to spend their times for themselves…and might forget some people who have become parts of us. Is it true? Yes…but through this, we can get life lesson and we would feel deeper love to those people. The longings get greater and more sincere and these obviously make us don’t want to lose those people. Rite?

It’s about what my heart says.

You can think and say that my love to you bleaches…but, you forget one thing that this love never grows old through times and distance.

In fact we are separated by miles of distance…but you’ve got to remember that distance is not measured but crossed with steps willing. You always say that, don’t you?

The Voice Within

August 17, 2006. 7.37 am

Tonight I feel so lonely and empty and keep remembering a precious one-month vacation in Korea. It’s simply so unforgettable. Every single day I passed with you seems so unbearably remarkable. All experiences I gained, all people I met, all places I went and all moments we shared together are simply wonderful.

Without realizing, my tears drop, crying, and I wipe.

I love you so much.

Just the way you are. With whatever you have and whoever you are. In good and bad. In happiness and sadness. At all the time, I will and I always will love you.

This separation kills me softly with its emptiness. One month we spent together is so valuable. To know you better, to know each other deeper.

I just want you to know that, it was the most beautiful time I ever had in my life. It’s all because of you there, always. Days and nights. Every time. Every single step we took, alone and together.

The drink and the food we shared. The bed and the blanket we shared, too. Everything remains as it was there to me here, now. I can’t forget. And I wanna come back, again. To be with you there. To change everything, together. As I have realized that my life has changed since that time.

You know that. You had me at hello. You had me at hello.

Now I feel that my love has grown even when I thought that it was sinking. That time changed everything within. I love you even more and more everyday. No matter how stupid you are, no matter how ugly you are. To me, you are just so beautiful. To me, you are simply my everything.

From the first day I arrived at the airport, when you picked me up, with that smiles, with that way of walking, and your strange look.

It was like the beginning of our whole new world. This love is just so beautiful.

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