February Faith


This is just about how to go through in life, with the remaining faith in the month of February…

Another monologue that perpetuates…

Life has been so harsh in the last past weeks, after returning from what I could call ‘the Peak of My Mountain of Life,’ where I knew that I could stand on my own feet, where I, to my own understanding, had everything I needed and wanted—things that I had been dreaming of—that was eventually achieved. I felt like, for a couple of weeks, being on the paramount, and suddenly everything had gone from my careful clutch; not that I was being reckless, but more to be the, let’s say, destiny for myself. And all I know, I have to get it back.

After being extremely mobile (say: extraordinarily nomadic), within two months, I could settle in, finally, even just for a while, but at least, I know that it could help me, somehow, to regain my energy to move on again. Living in a place, where I used to call ‘home’ and where I left a part of my heart behind for a few days, after the ‘return,’ was somehow, reaching to the time, when I naturally forced to find another place to nest that I couldn’t find and had to make up my mind; I stayed for a couple of days in an aunt’s house, which was pretty far away from the heart of the capital. Then I had to continue to another port, where was at an old friend’s house near the place where I spent my last five years to get my bachelor degree, for yet another few days. Knowing that I couldn’t belong to that place, I had to find the best way-out for the time being, for I could settle down for a little bit longer time. So, I found a place of a close cousin’s parents in law, whose wedding, sometime last year, I didn’t even attend. Thankfully, I could stay there for few weeks, until I eventually found another place, an old place where I used to stay before, as another harbor, where I have been staying for the last few weeks. Finally, but the battle is not over yet…

To get away from suicidal emotion that often came across the corner of my mind, I looked for another bright pursuit where I could be somebody, where I could find another little path to, yet, start another long and winding journey. So, there I found a club with new people, where I could interact and hangout with. New friends that gave me, however, new breeze and new breath and that they have helped me find my lost spirit and lifted my higher from that drowning emotional condition. They have helped me find back the missing voices that I have longed for and realize that life was, after all, not that bad. From them, I saw, that even in the hardest situation, they still have little hope and prayer in their hearts and they know how to be, as it might seem, happy. From them, I found, that there are still lots and lots of people out there, that have been suffering from this cruelty, or if I may say, injustice, but they are still fighting for better things, they are not quitters. And it has helped me awaken the faith in deep sleep inside of me. And I thank them truly for being such miracle in time of obscurity.

From that time on, I have changed and it gives important impact on my life, my surrounding, to being another challenging adventure. There I found my faith back in February and realized that I still have a long long road to the future. To put my self together, to put the scrambled puzzles in place, to keep going on until I see the light that shines again…

taken and edited from mohammadreiza.com dated February 28, 2009

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